Two is not enough!

When Luke was born, for three years I thought that one child was enough. When our second boy arrived, for two years I thought two children were enough. At the age of forty when our third child, a girl, was born I almost immediately thought about having another child but after careful consideration realised three […]

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Tu me manues

The French say it so much better..tu me manques – you are missing from me! It is 25872 hours since you have been missing from me Luke. I have not thought of you every single hour that you have been gone, nevertheless, I have felt that you have gone in the very core of my […]

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Scary Place

The world outside becomes  a scary place when you are broken and no longer sure of who you are anymore. Once away from the comfort and security of home  – anything can happen and at first frequently did. Each of us has a tale to tell as we fled back home wondering, ‘How come I […]

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When Luke moved back home with us to our two bedroom lodge in early December 2015 we were sorely short of space for his belongings. He was not a hoarder and after several accommodation moves and an adventure of working in Cyprus, he had very few possessions. He like quality items but was not overly […]

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The Gulf

Those words…”Luke’s dead” created a gulf, a gaping chasm between me and parents who have never heard those words. I have caring people around me who willingly walk along the bridge that separates us but there’s a gap on the bridge that they cannot negotiate, no matter how they try. I do not want them […]

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Hierarchy of grief..

“One day the colours will come back” – Watercolour by Keith J C Lavelle A mother’s grief, it seems, is easier to feel empathy with – somehow everyone can key into it. Scenes of wailing mothers at gravesides as their child is lowered to their final resting place is a stab at anyone’s heart strings […]

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