I like giving gifts even if they are only token gifts. I know just how important it can be to let someone know you are thinking of them because I know how important it is to me. My habit these days is to buy or make token gifts for Luke. They are only small; a […]

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Half A Decade…already

There is a six month period which runs from the beginning of December to Fathers Day in which there are peaks and troughs of significant dates, including Christmas and Luke’s birthday that will forever accentuate and intensify the gaping hole that used to be his presence. I have said before that I think of Luke […]

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The January Challenge

64MiollionArtists – #TheJanuaryChallenge is what it says, a challenge to do something “arty farty” each day in January. As is supposed to be something that can be done in about twenty minutes or so, with things that we all could have around the house….well I’m game 🙂 Today’s was to write something beginning with “I […]

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What’s Occurring?

Good things still ☺ I’ve long thought that we would not be able to appreciate happiness if we didn’t have unhappiness to compare it with and often,in our negative world, we miss the positive. With these thoughts in mind I began to make a note of those happy moments. I used a half-size notelet pad […]

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Banal platitudes

Yesterday was Luke’s 34th birthday. I count the birth days but Luke doesn’t age beyond 30. Yesterday was the worst since he died. The last three years, the days before were not good but once the day arrived, it passed with sadness but without plunging headlong into overwhelming grief. Not so this year. The days […]

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I don’t know if you are familiar with lametta, a sort of Christmas tinsel? Mine comes out every year and is thrown liberally on the Christmas tree as the final decoration.  Well, not thrown because as my daughter will tell anyone who is wiiling to listen I am OCD about where the decorations are placed […]

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2020 a New Year with out you.

It is the fourth Christmas and New Year with out Luke, not only that, it’s a new decade without him here to enter it with us. I wonder if I will still be around at the beginning of a second decade (2030) without him? It is a possibility. It is six Christmas ago, 2014 since […]

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Not my boy!!!

Now that I am so heavily involved with Suicide Prevention I find the words, “My son took his own life” followed by “how ever much time has elapsed,” slip out of my mouth fairly easily, without touching the sides, really. Certainly not touching any of the painful parts of my being that are tucked away for […]

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Can you all clear off NOW 😉

There have been some dark days for my family since I last wrote for this blog. In many ways reminiscent of those months before Luke died. Life events for members of the family which, have threatened their existence and personal wellbeing. All of which will not be an easy fix. I worry for them and […]

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Two is not enough!

When Luke was born, for three years I thought that one child was enough. When our second boy arrived, for two years I thought two children were enough. At the age of forty when our third child, a girl, was born I almost immediately thought about having another child but after careful consideration realised three […]

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